My uncle died. He was married to my aunt, my godmother. The last time I have seen either of them was about three years ago at my sister’s wedding.
I spent much of the day yesterday thinking… and drinking my aunt’s homemade punch, so tasty that I drank enough to forget which fruit was the base of the flavorful concoction. The smell of chocolate basil still permeates the air.
We spent the day crying, laughing, telling stories. So why do we only find the time for this at weddings and funerals?
We hustle and bustle every day, barely staying afloat. School pick up, groceries, music practice, sports, cleaning, dishes, organizing, paying bills.
“Where’s my shirt?”
“We’re late again??!!”
“What’s for breakfast?”
“Did you put money in school lunch account?”
“The article was due yesterday.”
“Can you call this guy back?”
“When’s the broken microwave getting installed?”
Sound familiar?
Have you ever sat in your car in the garage or driveway for 10 minutes after work, just to get a breather… preparing to enter your home?
Have you been so overwhelmed that you just sobbed real tears? I’m talking about ugly crying here.
Do you have all these plans for next year. Always next year. Because there isn’t time now.
STOP.
Take a deep breath. Hold it. Keeeeep holding. Exhale slowly. Repeat.
Take out a piece of paper and pen/pencil.
Write down those plans for next year. Maybe it’s spending more time with your partner. Being truly present for your kids. Climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro. Beach getaway to Mexico. Rekindling an old hobby… or an old friendship. Visiting your aunt and uncle. Reading more. Learning a new language. Exercising. Eating better. Volunteering. Things that we think we will have time for later. Things that we know will make us happy, but we’re not making time for them today. Go on. Write.
…
Look at the list. Circle the bullets most important to you. Write why this is important to you. Is it because your family is important? You’ve always dreamed of it? You deserve a break? What’s the reason? Write.
…
Why are you not planning / doing this thing this year? Write THIS down. Too busy? Not enough money? Kids are in school? Career is too demanding? You want a promotion? Waiting until tax refund? But who will watch the dog? Write all the potential barriers.
…
Now look at your list. I bet you TIME is the dominant theme. We lack time.
But time is the most precious commodity. When we’re out of time, it’s over. And the problem is that we don’t know how much time we actually have. We make good estimates, but we don’t really know.
I challenge you to repeat this exercise every week – it will take 15 minutes. No social media. No screens. No kids. No spouse. Just you and your paper/journal.
If you don’t think you have 15 minutes, you should do it twice a week.
Start thinking about how you can get more time. Look at your phone stats – oh, you spent 1.5 hour on social media each day? Did you even know? Does the new HBO show bring you as much happiness as those goals? Are you fortunate enough that you can afford to outsource some “second shift” home tasks like cleaning, laundry, errands? DO IT. You CAN’T do it all… I don’t care what anyone says.
I challenge you to think every week for 15 minutes about what makes you happy and the goals you have been putting off.
I challenge you to stop.
I challenge you to reprioritize your life.
Before it’s too late.
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